Sunday, August 30, 2009

Wellness Center and Week and Weekend Plans

Wellness Center and Weekend Plans

First of all I would like to say that I'm going to really work hard to get a blog update posted everyday or at least every other day to keep myself on track and to fill you all in on my life at college. The weight loss journey from a college student prospective. I have been busy, and I have said this before. However, I spoke with my dad about it. He told me I should at least try to post something everyday for my own benefit. Even if it is only a short paragraph. Just something. He is absolutely right.


Thursday night I was overloaded with homework. The Wellness Center is open to 11:00pm Mon-Fri. Perfect isn't it? Well I studied from about 4:00pm to 9:45pm with a dinner break in that time, and I STILL wasn't finished with all the studying/homework. But at 9:45pm I made a good choice. I thought to myself: "Okay Amber, yeah you are not finished with your homework, BUT you don't have much left. Why don't you hit the gym, then come back and finish your studying then?" I thought it over, and almost decided to stay in my room to just finish my homework. However, I knew that once I was finished I wouldn't have very much time for working out and there was also that chance I would just say: "Oh well, it's pretty late now and I wouldn't have much time in the gym anyway maybe I should just get to bed." I didn't like the thought of missing another workout! I didn't like the thought of me making the excuse not to go and get my sweat on. So I opted for a break from my work load and a good 45 minutes at the Wellness center. It felt so great to workout there again. The amazing feeling after working out is like no other feeling in this world. No other feeling.

This week the plan is simple. Strict on calories as always. The difference is I MUST get back into the gym. I plan on getting in there everyday this week. I'm sure I can do it. I'm just going to have to work around my homework. I have a 4 to 6 page essay to write this week. It's due Thursday. So that is the most important homework assignment I'll have to work around...the other work should be pretty simply to navigate through. Through out the week, I also plan on giving you all an idea of what I eat while I'm up here at school in the form of pictures. I'll also work on getting those dorm room pictures up soon! :)

Oh! And This week I'm also going to try and get into the clinic to weigh! So updates on that soon as well! :D

Weekend PLANS! I'll be going home this weekend for Labor Day Weekend! I'll arrive home Friday and leave home on Monday. I'm excited to be back home for the weekend. Workout with my family and try that new homemade low-cal pizza my dad is crazy about! haha. I love and miss my FAMILY like crazy. I miss them so much when I'm away at school. I'm so proud of them all. They make me want to do my best everyday. They keep me going. They keep me strong. They are there for me whenever I need them, and that my friends are what families are for. Dad, Mom, Sissy....I love you guys! You have no idea what you guys do for me everyday. I can't wait to see you all on Friday.

And Courtney, you are not going ANYWHERE Friday. So don't even make any plans. Sissy is coming to town, and I miss you.

Decorate yourself from the inside out.


Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Dorm room done and decorated, almost and Sweating to success.

Dorm room done and decorated, almost and Sweating to success.

I spent my first night back in my dorm room last night. When I arrived in my room after class yesterday, I was greeted by big full boxes and stacks of full plastic bags. I had a lot of unpacking and decorating to do. I started working on my room at around 3:30pm yesterday and finished at about 10:00pm. I say finished, however it is not quite done yet. I still have quite a bit of posters to hang around my side of the room. The room still feels empty if I don't have my personal touches painted on the walls. I won't feel like it's "My room" until I get it all done. Once I complete it, I plan on taking some photos of my room for everyone's viewing pleasure! So look for that coming soon! :)

School has been pretty busy the last couple of days. Today was only the fifth day, but I have had so much homework to do in those last five days. There should be a law against giving students homework the first week back to school! In fact, tonight's blog will be cut a little short due to World History homework! But I wanted to update and let you guys know what is going on! Hopefully I will get to post a longer blog and award my blog awards to the lucky 15 in the next few days.

My World History class has been the hardest class I have had yet. It's not that it is difficult. It is the professor has a different way of teaching. He doesn't just make us buy a big heavy text book and make us take notes. OHHH NOOO. That would be WAYYY too easy right! At least I think so. Actually in reality his teaching style is probably the easiest one out there. We read from the History book at home, and then all we do in class is discuss what we read. He calls on us at random and we are to explain to him what we thought the reading meant and give the readings importance. Doesn't sound hard at all, right? It is difficult to me because I don't like being called on. When I am called on in class and expected to give a correct answer...I feel like the WHOLE WORLD is just staring at me. I begin to feel very uncomfortable. I begin to feel like they are staring at me because of my weight, and not because they are all expecting an answer to the professors question. I start to feel very awkward in my own skin. I begin to sweat and sudder. I have determined it is soley because of my weight. When people stare at me like that, it automactically triggers in my brain that they are looking at me with disgust because of the way I look. That's how I felt the first day of World History. However, Monday was different. I had thought it over, and I informed myself that the only reason I felt like that the first day was because of my lack of confidence in myself and the way I look. The first day he had called on me. I didn't know what to say. My palms were sweaty and I could feel the stare of what seemed like everyone in the room. Monday like I said was different though. This Monday I walked into that classroom actually hoping he would call on me. Hoping he would single me out for an answer. But he didn't, but next time he does...I will be READY! Tomorrow I have World History, before I go to bed tonight I need to read from my book, and be completely ready to take on a question.

Sadly, I have not yet been back to the Wellness Center. However, I will be going to workout there tomorrow night. My next blog post I will fill you in on that, and it will be good. :) I'm eating right though, following my calories to a T I am very happy to report! I need to find a location to weight in at. I think I can at the health clinic here in town, but I want to check with them to make sure it's alright, which I will do very soon.

Thank you to everyone who supports me. Your kind and supportive comments really give me that extra boost I need to stay focused. You don't know how much that means to me.




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Around my heaviest.

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Mom, Courtney, and me. All of us at our heaviest. Before I left for college last year.

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My Graduation party (2008). I wasn't so happy on that day. I felt so ugly in my gown.

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Fat face graduation day.

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In progress, SUMMER!

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Sissy and me in progress.

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In progress, SUMMER!

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Family In Progress! Before I left this summer!

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Busy, busy, busy and Getting back into the swing to get that A+

Busy, busy, busy and Getting back into the swing to get that A+

School starting back up brings back the crazy schedule. Classes, Studying/Homework, Writing papers, Part-time job, Working out, Writing my blog, and Finding time to myself. I haven't yet been to my dorm since I moved in. My boyfriend currently doesn't have a working car to get to school in. He lives about 20 minutes away from the college campus. So, I have been staying at his house to give him rides to school. This effects my schedule. This weekend he will be hopefully getting a car to use at least to get to school. I'm looking forward to staying at my dorm, and unpacking everything to get situated in my room properly. I want to get my routine back. I have kinda been in a slump lately. I haven't really done much exercise. I have been eating right though. I haven't derailed from my calorie counting. However, I feel just horrible when I don't get my workout in. I know I have no excuse not to do SOME type of exercise. I just prefer the comfortable SWOSU Wellness Center. That provides a wide variety of exercise equipment there for my using pleasure. I can't wait to get back into my routine. My routine is very important I believe to my success, especially being on my own at school. I need that routine to keep me focused. I know what you are thinking "Yeah, but Amber life throws you situations and it might not follow your routine, then what?" Well, I am still working on that. I know my day isn't always going to follow my routine. But getting back to school, and getting back into the groove of things. I need that routine to guide me the first couple of weeks being back. That routine is my modivation. Monday night I should be settled into my dorm room, and before bed Monday hit the gym. I can't wait to tell you all about the Wellness Center!

My first day of class was this last Wednesday. The day went well. Bascially all it really involves is meeting your professors, and the professors explaining what all the class will be focused around and certain rules and regulations that particular professor has on things like his/hers office hours and contact information, attendence, homework, grading proceedures, and stuff like that. Pretty boring, but good day overall.

I have chose my schedule this semester to give me plenty of time for workouts and the part-job I will need to obtain very soon.

My current class schedule is:
World History - 10:00am - Only on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday
Foundations of Education - 11:00am - Only on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday
College Algebra - 1:00pm - Only on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday
English Composition II - 12:30pm - Only on Tuesday and Thursday

(Side note: Books in college are WAY to expensive. I spend $400 on the books required for all of these classes. Not including any other school supplies! Right now your mouths have dropped to the floor, I know right! Good GREIF!)

So, I'm completely done with class at 2:00pm everyday. That leaves a lot of time for other things.

However, I'm not sure what my work schedule will look like, since I'm not employed at the moment. Hopefully it will still leave plenty of time for studying and I will just have to make time for my workouts. I just I'm just worried about how tight my schedule is going to be. I get stressed out really easily. I didn't get as many loans and grants as I did last year, so that's where the part-time job comes into effect. I also have a lot of studying on my plate this semester with History, Math, and English. Core classes that require a lot of writing and studying. But I will NOT let a busy schedule mess up my weight loss journey. Too many times in the past, my schedule and day to day life has won. This time my exercise is going to be just as important as a homework assignment. The way I see it my grades are important to me. In school I try my very best and do everything I can to make that A. I see now that I have to put that same effort, that same goal into my weight loss. I have to treat each day as if I am working towards the ultimate grade I want for my body. I am going to have homework everyday, whether or not any of my professors assign something, and that homework will be GET INTO THE GYM. Get your exercise in. I don't want a zero for the day. I want a 100%. My calorie counting is only 50% of this equation. Consistency is the key. I have to be consistent with my working out. That is the game plan, and it is sure to work.

A big thank you to all that gave me a BLOG AWARD! What an honor! I'm so pleased you all like my blog, and I will try my best to keep the blog postings coming as time permits. I understand I have to pass the blog award on to 15 lucky fellow bloggers. However, I do not have the time to do that tonight, it's already 12:38am and I have class at 10:00am tomorrow! But I will pass out the 15 blog awards this weekend for sure! Also anyone that can help me with HTML on this site, it would be much appreciated! I'm still new to the site, and I would like to add maybe a nice new layout of my choice and some neat little things to the side like some of you have updating blog readers on your total weight loss to date and other various things.

The blog is being cut short tonight. I wanted to make a real long and interesting indepth blog tonight. But time has run out! I had homework tonight reading for History class and it took up most of the evening. Thank you all for reading and leaving me comments. I think your support really will help me along my journey and getting to my final goal! And I hope that I can do the same for you!

The sky isn't the limit. There are no limits.


Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Motivation list and Meeting the same room mate all over again.

Motivation list and Meeting the same room mate all over again.

1. I want to feel better about myself, increasing my confidence and self worth.
2. I want to be able to go in to any store, and buy clothes I like, not just the ones that fit.
3. I want to wear clothes that are NOT in the plus size section.
4. I want to look in the mirror and like what I see.
5. I want to walk up stairs without feeling like I could just fall over and die.
6. I want absolutely no one to ever refer to me as "the big girl."
7. I want to not be embarrassed what so ever to get my picture taken.
8. I want to see my reflection in a full length mirror and feel great about what I see.
9. I want to be able to show off my legs, and not feel like they are huge.
10. I want to lie in bed, look down and see my toes without lifting my head off the pillow.
11. I want to have no worries about what clothes in my closet fit or not.
12. I want to look forward to summer, instead of winter, where I can hide under my big winter jackets.
13. I want to love shopping. The question won't be "Will this fit me?" It will be "Do I have the money to get this?"
14. I want a regular size towel to fit all the way around my body.
15. I want to be healthy and live longer. Not being at risk for the serious health problems obesity volunteers us for.
16. I want to wear a bikini, and feel amazing in it.
17. I want to wear more feminine clothes, rather than baggy t-shirts.
18. I want to actually wear a tight little black dress, and look drop dead gorgeous in it.
19. I want to enjoy getting dressed in the morning.
20. I want to be able to tell people how much I weigh, and not get depressed about it.

Last, but not least:
21. I want to see everyone's shocked reactions to my dramatic weight loss transformation. Their jaws will hit the floor.

I woke up, and didn't go to the doctor. Let me explain. I will be getting checked out as soon as I can. But, today wasn't a very good day for a doctor trip. Plus, I may be able to get a free check up at the local clinic in Weatherford, instead of paying for the costly doctors visit.

The morning was busy. Dad, Mom, and I went to my college campus bright and early. We finished moving the rest of my things into my room and finishing up the paper work that the school needed from me. I was excited to get to meet my new room mate. However, I was shocked to find out that my "new" room mate is actually the second room mate that I had last year right before school ended. So I have already lived with this girl. Her name is Katie, and I think we got off to a pretty good start last year. I met her at this room mate party my dorm hall was having. A party specifically for finding a room mate. All of the girls needing a room mate were to attend. Of course, I went because my first room mate had belled on me, and I needed to find other room mate to avoid being charged for a semi-private room. I remember going to the party it was around January of this year. I was nervous. When I got down to the main lobby for the event, I was relieved to see that all the girls looked just as nervous and shy as I was. They were all standing around just looking at each other. Some of the resident advisers were trying to break the ice, and get everyone to socialize with each other. It was the most awkward experience of my life. It was like we all were there to meet up with a blind date or something, like we were trying to "pick someone up." I remember standing their wishing that someone would come up and introduce themselves to me, and then we could hit it off and claim each other as our new room mates. I walked around and tried to make random conversation with the girls, but I just did NOT bring out my outgoing personality at ALL. I couldn't quite open up. The party was nearing a end, and most of the girls had already paired up. I was left standing their with no one. Until I seen a girl standing off to the far right corner of the room. It was Katie. I walked over, and as I walked I just told myself I was going to be confidence. I was going to be the dominant personality. I was going to be the one that comes over to someone and strikes up the conversation without waiting for someone to come to me. I did just that. I walked over to Katie, and just started randomly chatting with her. After a few minutes we were both laughing, because I had shared my thoughts about this being like an awkward dating situation. It was going well so I had asked her to be my room mate.

So for the next couple of months she became my room mate. We would watch movies together. We would talk about random things. She would offer to help me with my homework. For the most part, we get along. It's just we never really got to the point of "okay, you are my friend now and I am your friend." We never got to the point of "hey let's hang out outside of the dorm room."It's like we never really "clicked" as friends, you know?

I wasn't really expecting her to be my room mate again, but she is my room mate. So I am hoping that maybe this year will be different. Maybe we can become closer, and hang out like normal friends do. Instead of feeling like we have to be friends because we live together in the same small room. Who knows maybe I can get her to go walking with me and be my work out buddy. She isn't overweight, but who knows she might want to work out a little and that might bring us closer.

Tomorrow will be a school night. For those that have asked, I am currently majoring in Psychology, but will be switching my major to Special Education (more details on that in my next blog). I'm actually excited to get back to my school routine and exercising routines. I will most likely be at my dorm tomorrow night. I will try to write my blog before bed if I can get my ancient laptop to get a internet signal in my room.

Also, those that have asked about the quotes I use. I usually get them from various websites on google. I usually do a search for Inspirational quotes. I tweak them for my own personal view of them and to refer them to weight loss.

Here is poem I found tonight on the internet. I thought it was the total truth about only losing a pound! Don't ever be discouraged if you lose one pound or even less than one pound, because the way I look at it...that is just one more pound gone forever, getting you closer to your ultimate weight loss goal!

One Pound of Fat

Hello! Do you know me? If you don't, you should. I am

ONE POUND OF FAT, and I am the happiest pound of FAT that

you would ever want to meet! Want to know why? It's

because no one ever wants to lose me! After all, I am

only ONE POUND OF FAT. Just ONE POUND. Everyone wants

to lose 3 or 5 or 15 pounds, but never ONLY one. So, I

just stick around and happily keep you. Then I am free

to add to myself, ever so slyly, so that you never seem

to notice... That is, until I have grown to 10, 20 or

even 30 pounds in weight... YES... it is fun being ONLY

ONE POUND OF FAT... left to do just as I please.
So, when you weigh in, go ahead... just keep on saying,

"Oh I only lost one pound." (As if that is so terrible.)

For you see, if you do this, you will encourage others

to hang around me because they will think that I am not

worth losing. And I LOVE being around you... your arms,

your legs, your chin, your hips, and every other part of

you. HAPPY DAYS! After all, I am ONLY ONE POUND OF


---author unknown---


Saturday, August 15, 2009

Good numbers and Moving in more on Monday

Good numbers and Moving in more on Monday

I first want to just say that I sincerely appreciate everyone's care, concern, and helpful comments for last night's blog. Thank you. I will be going to the Doctor as soon as I can, hopefully Monday.

Today I told my boyfriend's parents about my scary ordeal last night in the shower. My boyfriend's mother Tracy immediately called her sister-in-law to see if she had a blood pressure monitor. Luckily, she did have one and brought it over. I also had my blood sugar checked by my boyfriend's dad. Kenny was recently diagnosed with Diabetes, so he had a blood sugar monitor on hand. Both readings resulted in perfect numbers. So I'm really wondering why the episode happened. I will be going to a doctor on Monday for a more in depth check-up. My mother has feared for a while that I might be Anemic. Hopefully on Monday I can be examined to determine whether or not I am Anemic. I'm praying that it isn't something serious.

Today I woke up bright and early. I heading to moving in day at the dorms. I got my key to my room hoping my room mate would not be there just yet. I wanted to be the first to get there so I could choose my side of the room. The room is set up where the bed closest to the door only has one plug in, and it is by the built in desk. On the other side there are two plug ins. One by the built in desk and one by the air unit, which is where I put my TV last year. Of course I wanted the side of the room with two plug ins. It just makes it easier. I have a lot of things to plug in. Plus the room is the same room I had last year, and I got very comfortable with the far side of the room. My boyfriend, KL helped me empty my car full of stuff today at the dorm rooms. What a WORKOUT! KL and I were completely soaked with sweat, and in need of some water once it was over with. The whole time we were going up the elevator with our hands full, taking things up to my room and then coming down the stairs back down to my car to get more stuff. I kept hoping I would run in to my room mate. I was so excited to be the confident girl that I know is inside of me. I wanted to introduce myself, and begin to start easing the awkwardness of living in a room with someone you don't know, because believe me it is soooo awkward especially if you don't try and make the effort to talk to one other. Which is what I did with my first room mate last year. SOOO I was excited to start getting to know her TODAY! But I guess I can wait until Monday. Blahhhh.

My parents are coming tomorrow! I can't wait to see them. It feels like it's been a long time since I have seen them, even though it's only been a week. I think I just need to start adjusting again to being back at school without Mom, Dad, and Sissy around. It's strange because sometimes I feel like I'm not supposed to be 19 going on 20. Where did my teen years go? I suppose all adults look back and say that at some point in their lives. I guess it is just still weird to me being in this important transition in my life. The transition of being independent, and being on my own. Wow, that derailed to a depressing note. Sorry! Anyways! My parents will be here tomorrow. Courtney isn't coming because she can't miss Monday at school, this breaks my heart. I have really grown close to my sister these last couple of years. When I left home last Sunday, she just started crying while hugging me goodbye. I really really really wish she was coming to stay the night too, because I won't see her for about a month! I hate that! I am very excited my parents will be here though, because I will not be able to see them again until a break comes around.

My parents and I are going to be up bright and early Monday morning. I have to see about getting into the doctor office and we are heading up to the college campus to finish more paper work that the school still needs for me, get a new ID photo, and move the rest of my stuff up to my room. I'm hoping to see my room mate Monday. Then my parents will be able to meet her too. It will be good. Looking forward to it!

If you want to create something new,
You must take action and be something new.


Friday, August 14, 2009

Black out scare and Move in day at the dorms bright and early

Black out scare and Move in day at the dorms bright and early

Tonight was scary. The evening started out just like a lazy night. I ate dinner with my boyfriend's mom, Tracy as the two of us watched the movie Son In-Law. After the movie Tracy decided to get on the computer a little bit before she went to bed, so I decided to take a shower before coming to write my blog. I felt fine. Everything was fine. I grabbed my clothes and a clean towel and headed for the bathroom. The shower is a small in-closed area with a glass door. I was in there a while on the account that I wanted to shave my legs. After I finished shaving and washing I then began to shampoo my hair. While using the shampoo I felt really light headed and dizzy. Then what happened next really scared me. I was seeing black dots. The black dots started to intensify and I soon became very short of breath. I was having trouble breathing, and I could barely see in front of me because the black dots were getting worse by the second. It quickly clicked in my head that I needed to do something or I was going to pass out in the shower. I opened the big glass door and felt the cool outside air of the bathroom on my face, but I still couldn't catch my breath. I then sat on the toilet and wrapped the clean towel around myself. I felt very sick to my stomach and the black dots had not improved. I just knew I was having a black out. I have had them before but it has been a very long time. The last time I had one I was in the 8th grade, I was having a panic attack at school in my keyboarding class. I remember running out of the classroom to get some air and almost falling down two flights of stairs. The school had called my mom, and I went to the ER. I had almost blacked out in the doctors office while the nurse was checking my blood pressure. She had to stop checking it because I was seeing the same black dots I seen tonight and I almost passed out. Once she was able to check my blood pressure, it was through the roof. Anyways, so I am in the bathroom and I can't really seem to catch my breath. I just sat there with shampoo in my hair trying to breath slowing in and out. I was almost to the point of tears. My boyfriend's dad, Kenny was awake in the next room, and I was just about to yell at him to tell him that there was seriously something wrong, when finally my vision was improving. I opened the bathroom door just a crack to get some air into the room. I started breathing normal again and wasn't dizzy any longer. The whole episode lasted about 5 minutes. I don't know what the deal was. I don't know if it was because of shaving my legs while having to stand up in the small shower and bend down constantly to shave, or maybe the small area of the shower. I don't know because I have never had that happen in the shower EVER. I am hoping it was something simple and not serious. I'm a little tired from the whole thing...I feel very weak right now. If anyone knows what it may be please comment and let me know.

The big MOVE-IN day at my dorms is tomorrow morning at 9:00am. That is why the blog is being cut short tonight because I need to get to bed! One thing is for sure about tomorrow though...when I meet my new room mate, I'm not going to hold back. I'm not going to be closed off and shy. I am going to introduce myself and be as outgoing as I possibly can! I'm going to bring out my confidence that I know is in me! Who knows maybe she will become a good friend.

A big THANK YOU to everyone who read and commented my first blog post yesterday! It really made my day today! To have a big support system is amazing. WE can all reach our goals! We have to just all keep on keeping on and we will make it!

You may procrastinate, but just remember that time does not! The present is a great time to change the rest of our lives!


Thursday, August 13, 2009

High school will not carry on and Second year goals of consistency.

High school will not carry on and Second year goals of consistency.

When I started my weight loss journey nearly a year ago my starting weight was 320 pounds. I am currently about to start my second year of college, and I'm happy to report I'm 60 pounds lighter. Currently, I weigh 260 pounds. 60 pounds gone forever. Now don't get me wrong 60 pounds is wonderful. However, I know in my heart I could have done better then that. Losing weight for me has always been a constant struggle as it may be for everyone. In high school I was always the fat girl in class. I never had very many good friends. I never allowed myself to get close to very many people. In high school, I also wore a girdle. My sister seen me use the tight fitting suit everyday just to look a little tighter, a little better, a little smaller. I set the example that this girdle was amazing, but it wasn't. I never went to prom. For fear of looking fat in a dress. For fear of if I could even find a dress I liked and fit me properly. No one asked me to prom, and I didn't want to go alone. I never went to any of the social events high school would put on. Especially non-formal dances. I went to a couple in junior high, but I remember getting laughed at because I was a "fat girl dancing." I completely and totally isolated myself from my high school life. I didn't make very many friends because I lacked the confidence to just speak up and introduce myself. I didn't bring out the side of my personality that I knew would win them over. The outgoing side of me that is brought out when I am surrounded by my family and close friends. My close friends are my friends because they were not afraid to talk to me first. Not afraid to get to know the fat shy girl. I often wonder how different my high school life would have been had I not been so closed off. Had I not been so afraid of rejection. Had I not been so worried about my weight.

My first year at college was like high school all over again. I didn't talk to very many people. I closed myself off from my room mates. I didn't try to make friends. I didn't go to many social events. Why do I do this to myself? I know I can make friends. I know I can lose weight. I know I can have confidence. I know all of this. My first year at college had one slight difference from high school. The determination to lose weight. I want to lose my weight more than anything in this world. I beat the old "Freshmen 15" saying. I lost 60 pounds, even with all the tempting food that surrounded me everyday at the cafeteria. I didn't have home cooked meals and that made it a lot more difficult. No nutrition facts. I would have to make an educated guess on how many calories was in everything that I was consuming. It wasn't always easy. Some days I would do perfect. Some days I would seriously slack in the food and the exercise departments.

I can't and won't do this to myself again. Now is the time to get more serious than I ever have been. I want to really kick it up. Really challenge myself to do the best I can. I need to remix the mix tapes in my head as my daddy would say. His Day 327 really hit me hard. I teared up while reading it, because it really hit home. The words in his old mix tape are exactly what is playing in my head over and over again every time I try to push harder. My mix tapes are seriously working against me. It is a constant struggle for me to stay in the right mind set. The harder I try the more my head tells me I can't do this. My attitude needs to seriously change. My motivation has increased a lot since being home this summer with my family. I really need that boost of motivation. That boost of support. Over the summer I lost 20 pounds. It wasn't the number I was looking for, but I won't let it get me down because I know I can do better than that. This second year of college gives me a feeling of "I can do this." I will stay consistent. Consistency is my biggest problem. I need to stay consistent in my efforts. I can't do great one day and then slack off the next. Yeah, I have lost weight like this. But, I could have lost a lot more by now. Consistency is really going to amp up my results, and I am excited to take it to the next level of success. I have the support of my family. They are behind me all the way. I know it is difficult not being with them psychically, but knowing that they are cheering for me everyday makes me want to hold on and be strong for them. I'm ready to get a tight grip on this journey and push it faster in the direction I know it's going.

I believe this blog is going to help me. I have never really been good at keeping a daily journal or anything of the sort. But I am going to try and update this when I have the time between class, homework, part-time job, and working out. I'm excited to share journey with all of you. My goal weight for right now is 160. Once I get there then I will decide if I want to go smaller. Like my dad says "Whatever feels good." He is so right. I can't even express how proud of him I really am. I am so proud of my family. We are all going to be at our healthy weights in no time. The future is looking amazing. We will accomplish our goals, and feel better than ever.

I'm losing the weight for the sake of my life. A life full of things I have only imagined. The transformation has already started, and the future is bright. I'm dropping it like it's hot.

Grab a hold of your goals, and eliminate your doubts. Then you'll have the reality you've always wanted.