Sunday, January 10, 2010

New Motivation for DECISION 2010 and Turning 20 years old

New Motivation for DECISION 2010 and Turning 20 years old

Hello blogger world, it's been a while.

I would be a liar if I said I haven't struggled. It's been a whopping 5 months since my last blog update, and I'm being honest with myself. I haven't lost a pound since. Actually I have most likely gained a few. Last time I weighed I weighed exactly 274. What my dad actually weighs now. I want to first say that I am so proud of my daddy. He has come a long way and I know he is going to continue to jump towards his ultimate goal. Second, I need to CATCH up to everyone in my family. I am now the heaviest in my little family of four. I could have been almost to my goal by now. But I guess I can't sit and talk about the "I could of's" and the "I should of's." What is important to me now is stopping this war with myself.

I have been overweight since third grade. I remember one particular incident in the third grade where we were making those identification cards in case we were ever abducted. I remember weighing in at 90 pounds. 90 pounds isn't a lot at all, but for me a third grader it was the road to obesity. I remember some boys getting a look at my weight and laughing at me because of it. I can't begin to explain the amount of pain being overweight has caused me.

For part of my childhood and for all of my teenage years I have been my own worst enemy. I'm tired of defeating myself before I even get started. On January 4th 2010 I turned 20 years old. This is a wake up call. I want my time to shine. I want to feel beautiful. I have been heavy for WAY to LONG. I'm DONE. This time I WILL make it happen. I refuse to allow the rest of my life, now adult life, to be in the devastating company of morbid obesity.

For starters, I have enrolled into a Wellness and Fitness Concepts class. We will engage in physical activities every Wednesday. We will need workout clothes on those days. This first Wednesday we will be weighed and our fitness levels will be thoroughly tested. My professor will also be measuring body fat percentages and measuring what are individual heart rates need to be while engaging in cardio exercises for optimal weight loss results. Wednesday my workouts are taken care of. The other six days are going to be filled with exercise. Some sort of physical activity whether it's walking, hitting the gym, or even just playing some sort of sport or game. I have to get up and move. Another thing is my calorie limit. Calories are so hard to watch in college. I wish the food on campus had calorie counts. But I have decided to beat this calorie uncertainty by eating at the school cafeteria, which will allow me more options to make good choices. Instead of eating at the school grill, which is basically like fast food. Decision 2010 will also include cutting pop almost completely. I have never been much of a pop drinker. But here lately it seems like it's all I want to drink....especially coke. I never knew how much I liked coke. I say cutting it out "almost" completely because I have to remember I can still have some coke if I want it every now and then. My dad brought up a good strategy for that very thing. Get a value sized coke from just about any fast food restaurant (value sized is usually a dollar, and usually is the smallest size available - most likely an 8oz cup) and ask them for plenty of ice. That way you get that wonderful coke taste for about 60 calories or so.

I have set a weight loss goal of 100 pounds by the end of 2010. I think that is a fair goal. If I lose more, GREAT, but I think it is important for me right now to set a goal that doesn't feel overwhelming or unreachable. Tomorrow will be the first day of the rest of my life. The gym will be back in my schedule and maintaining my calories will be a must. I want to have the dramatic before, in progress, and after photos. I want to hear that four word wonderful question that mean so much "Have you lost weight?" I want to feel in shape and comfortable in my own skin. I want to look AMAZING. I want to make my family proud, but most of all I want to make myself proud. It's up to me. I CAN change my body. I CAN have the body I have always wanted. It's time to make that happen. No more time will be wasted.




  1. Glad to see you back! Decision 2010 sounds great! I so want this for you! I wish I had had resolve when I was in college. It would have done so much for my self-confidence. . . makes me wonder where I'd be now.

    Similar to your story, I've been overweight since I was 7. I also weigh more than anyone in my family right now, and it's not fun! And it scares me to say it, but I also want to lose 100 lbs this year.

    You can do this, Amber. College IS hard, but it's no harder than the rest of adulthood--except it's where the FIRST experiences of adulthood occur. Put your childhood behind you--in childhood you can't make your own decisions, in childhood & school, you're kind of stuck with the school room of kids. .. now you have choices. All your decisions are yours. And your reach is much further. You can do this.

    Do you have a small fridge? It might help to keep some snacks in your room so you can eat every 3 or 4 hours and be able to limit yourself when the cafeteria is open. And try new foods. . . forget what everyone says about the cafeteria. Try a few bites of food at leat 5 times before you write it off your list. Some things just take time to get used to.

    I'll shut up. I just want this for you, like I want it for myself. To me, you represent the old/young me; I don't want you to suffer one more minute, I want you to skip the next 26 years of fat pain completely.

    Move it, move it, move it!


  2. Sweety,
    You know you have the power to do this. You've always had the power inside. I believe in you and I'm proud of you. I haven't pressured you for a reason, because I know what it's like to have someone constantly on you to make better choices. I knew that when you were ready, you would be back, and I knew that when that day came, you would be stronger than ever.
    You always have my support and guidance 24/7. I'm here for you always. This doesn't have to be a chore--it doesn't have to be tough. It can be a wonderful ride all the way through your amazing transformation.
    Embrace it Amber, protect it from your emotions...hold tight to those motivating thoughts. And dream baby, dream. Because your dreams and the accomplishment of those dreams are only limited by you. You have the power. You have the force.

    Use the force. I love the class you told me about and have written about here. What you told me about that professor makes me very happy. His attitude and philosophy sounds exactly like mine. That's refreshing to hear.
    When you come home Thursday, get ready to workout with me!!! I can't wait to show you what I'm learning from Melissa Walden.

    I'm so happy for you baby!!! 2010 is going to be an amazing year. You can't even imagine how much---it's going to rock in a wonderful way!!

    Love you with all my heart baby,


  3. Hi Amber I have been following your Dads blog and even though we are a lot different in age I am also studying full time and trying to lose weight. Studying can be very social and stressful and food choices are hard when you are on the go and busy. I need to lose about 100lbs this year also, I have joined the gym today and have committed myself to doing this. I know we can do this and I would really like to have a nice graduation picture. You are making all the right choices you just need to keep at it. Ann

  4. Hi Amber,

    Well done in maintaining your loss so far and especially over the holiday season etc.

    One day, one choice at a time and you will get there.. good luck with your new lifestyle!


  5. Hi Amber, I am looking forward to seeing you update with losses!

  6. Hey Amber,

    I'd just like to say that I started where you are approximately (at 269) pounds. I still have 42 pounds to go until my goal is reached, but let me tell you it is sooooo worth it. It is worth the sacrifices you might need to take by going to the cafeteria instead of the grill. I am 26. My wake up call was when I was in my mid-20s, and I didn't want to be fat through all of my 20s. I mean, the 20s are the golden years, right!? They are your youth. That you are realizing this at the beginning is awesome, and I just want to encourage you to keep going. If you ever need any help or someone to talk to feel free to hit me up. I'll of course be following your blog :)

    Have a great day and here's to new beginnings!

  7. What a great decision you have made. I am going to be 28 this year and it hurts sometimes that I have waited this long to change. I feel like I wasted my 20's. I am changing now though and I am so glad that you have decided you are ready!

  8. You can make good choices in college as long as you are mindful of what you are doing - I lost about 70-80lbs in college and got down to a healthy weight for my height. Unfortunately life kicked me in the butt and I gained it back plus more, but I am back on the road to be fit.

    I don't know if this would help, but maybe carry around a small notebook and log what you are eating before you take a bite. That has helped me in the past few months as it makes me more mindful of what I am eating. And of course walking and other activity are great!

    It sounds like you are on your way to a fitter you! Just remember that there are people out here that are there for you should you need us. Go forth and conquer the fat so that you can "drop it like it's hot" ;o)

  9. Way to go Amber. With a bit of discipline you can do anything.

  10. Amber, I have followed your dad's blog for inspirtation and so glad it brought me here. I feel the hope and determination in your words and I know that you are going to do good things for yourself in 2010.

    I am many years older than you, but on the same journey. I will tell you from experience losing the weight now will change the course of your life. I can't wait to come back and see your success and all the photos as well!

    You are not alone, and your dad gave you great advice - DREAM!

  11. I came over here from your dads blog, I'm so exicted for you. It sounds like you have a great support system which is important in our healthy journeys. I look forward to following along.

  12. Welcome back! I'm so glad to hear the renewed passion and determination in your "voice" today. You know you aren't walking this road alone. Keep us posted and let us know when you need help!

  13. Dear Amber, You should be so proud of yourself for "picking up the baton" again. The truth is, it doesn't matter what you've "always been"...when you were a child, you weren't in charge of your you are. I have a son who is in college and I always tell him he is in charge of who he decides to be, not me. It is terrific that you are doing this with your family because support helps, but you are doing this for yourself and the success belongs to you. Every milestone is an accomplishment you did! Every single bit of progress, no matter how small or slow, is all because of you. You can do this because it is your life, no one else's.

  14. Amber first off I want to say you are beautiful inside and out from what I can see. I also want you to know that I completely understand how you feel...when i was 20 I weighed close to 375 lbs and then by the age of 25 I was over 450 lbs. You are doing this at the right time to completely live the rest of your life in a healthy way. I am proud to say that I am now 198 lbs. Your dad is a tremendous inspiration to me. I am sure he is to you also. Good luck!